No really, its true

I was out on a date and my date abruptly asked me what I was looking for in a man. I tried to talk my way out of answering this question, but my jedi mind powers did not work on this one.
So I said I was looking for someone to be comfortable with, someone I could trust and he interrupted me to say that my answer was boring and this was what everyone said. Maybe so. So I started to think about what we would say if we all answered that question honestly.

Date: "What are you looking for in a partner?"

Date-ee: The obligatory "Someone who I can be comfortable with, someone I can trust"

Various Translations of what this could really mean:

"Someone who will tell me what to do"

"Someone who I can tell what to do"

"Sex"

"Sex, actually"

"Love"

"Money"

"Someone who will love me/intensely want to suck my blood until I die a painful death"

"Children"

"Someone to show me around the city"

"Someone to fix all the problems"

"The answer to the meaning of life"

"A Jane Austen romance"

"A family"

"My father"

"Someone who will treat me badly"

"Drama"

"A fictional character out of a novel/romantic comedy"

"Anyone, because the person I really want is taken"

"Someone to make me feel attractive"

"Someone who has all my interests"

"Someone who will take care of me, because I am a total disaster"

"A total disaster so I can take care of them"

"Anyone, so that I do not have to feel bad about being alone"

"Well, everyone else has one..."

"Someone to party with"

"Give me your money"


And me: "someone who I can be myself with, someone who I can trust"

translation:

"Someone who I can be myself with, someone who I can trust"