My First Match Experience

Things I learned on My First Match.date
Well, I have been educated on the ways of match.com. I got lectured on it for a good two hours from a real match veteran. So firstly,
What I learned about match.com
1. There are two kinds of people on match.com-those who want to hook-up, and those who are looking for a relationship. (unfortunately, this date we were on appeared to contain all varieties of match.com denizens)
2. How to tell a person’s weight from the top of their shoulder. He waxed particularly eloquent on this topic, and I could tell that it was one close to his heart. You see, apparently over-weight people are sneaky, and they only put headshots up of themselves, so you have to learn to gauge their shoulder width. I could elaborate, but it might cause me to puke a little in my throat.
3. The initial flood of emails and winks abates soon. I told him that I had been on match.com for about two weeks and he looked and me and had an “Aw, the good ol’ days” moment at my expense. He wisely told me not to go out with everyone who asked me, although in the initial phase I could go out with a different guy every night. “It gets too crazy,” he warned.
4. Never go out to eat with a person on a first date. Go out for drinks, so that one can escape easily. This hint was given to me over Tai food, so I was a little confused.
5. Always talk to a person over the phone before going out or else one can get stuck with a maniac. He always speaks on the phone to the girl before going out. (Good advice, but actually, it’s not fool proof.)
My First Match.date (involves some judicial information withheld so that I do not look as bad. (No! Nothing that bad!))
Well, I have survived my first match.date. I knew it would be a disaster from the start. Our initial conversation went like this.
Me: “Hi, nice to meet you.”
Greek: “Nice to meet you. Do you smoke pot?”
Me: “No, do you smoke pot often?”
Greek: “No, not before I go to work, just every night when I get home.”
Me: “ah.”
We had nothing in common so the substance of our conversation was match.com. He was quite good looking but, alas, looks are not enough. I could not wait to escape. And, he was a very, very bad kisser. Okay, now I do not usually kiss on a first date. But since it was also our last date…..