So, I have been thinking about what to do with this blog.
Which dating site shall I look at next? Now that I can cross match off my list since I can attract the same level and response of men by walking into a college dive bar naked....
I thought about the free ones. But if match is the way that it is and costs what it does, how much lower will the quality be on the free ones? I mean, any lower and they'll have to be those people you comment and insult eachother on youtube videos:
"ivvyx1 (1 hour ago)
Girls, give that guy some serious pussy please. He deserves it, not that he would be in lack of it but anyway his singing sounds like he hasn't quite yet gotten any. If he only knew what's coming sooner or later.
paris8miley (3 hours ago) 0 Reply
omg i looooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooove him ppl I 2 HAVE BIIIIIIIEBER FEEEVER AND HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTy."
Anyway, enough of that. If single celled organisms could type. So since I fear that any lower than the denizens of match.com would be single celled organisms, I will not be joining the free ones. Maybe I'll join the second most popular dating website other than match, chemistry.com. I'll change the name of the blog. I'll ask my friends who know science a chemical formula that results in explosions, or big stenches.
Or maybe I'll join eharmony, ask my musical friends for chords that are non-harmonious...or maybe since there does not seem to be a happy medium between websites, speed dating will be the way of the future...
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
You know my name, baby look up the number
Oops. I got angry at men. Really very angry. So I went through and deleted all their numbers.
That was a mistake.
This is not the first time I have made this mistake.
Never do this. Even if you do not like them, keep their numbers or else if you are like me than curiosity if nothing else will keep you texting because I have to know who it is.
I am now getting text messages from I don't know who. Multiple people. At least two. I think they are match men. The thing is, I require a lot of attention and if they do not give it to me and then try to make a comeback two weeks later, three months later, I have already deleted their numbers in a snit.
I think, I will make plans to meet one of these mystery men. That will add an element of fun into the whole dating process. It will be like the dating show with the three bachelors behind the curtain.
I'm easily amused.
That was a mistake.
This is not the first time I have made this mistake.
Never do this. Even if you do not like them, keep their numbers or else if you are like me than curiosity if nothing else will keep you texting because I have to know who it is.
I am now getting text messages from I don't know who. Multiple people. At least two. I think they are match men. The thing is, I require a lot of attention and if they do not give it to me and then try to make a comeback two weeks later, three months later, I have already deleted their numbers in a snit.
I think, I will make plans to meet one of these mystery men. That will add an element of fun into the whole dating process. It will be like the dating show with the three bachelors behind the curtain.
I'm easily amused.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
It....................might be hopeless
I think I might have to give up on this whole dating thing.
I was speaking to a couple of friends and the subject of cheating came up, I said cheating was bad, and I would never cheat. My friends looked at me like I had three heads. And then they said: "Wow, you should date this one guy who we are friends with, you guys have so much in common, he would never cheat either!"
I mean really, when this is a criteria for setting two people up.....
I was speaking to a couple of friends and the subject of cheating came up, I said cheating was bad, and I would never cheat. My friends looked at me like I had three heads. And then they said: "Wow, you should date this one guy who we are friends with, you guys have so much in common, he would never cheat either!"
I mean really, when this is a criteria for setting two people up.....
Monday, January 25, 2010
Well meant advice for men
There are some things a guy should try hard not to appear to the girl who he is dating. There are things that the girl should try as well, but this is man time and I am going to give them some advice.
ADVICE #1, DO NOT GIVE COMPLIMENTS IN THIS WAY
1. Give the following conversation snippit a cursory perusal and see if you can spot the error on the guy's part:
Guy:"I went to South America"
Girl:"Do you speak any Spanish?"
Guy: "I learned a few phrases, 'where is the bathroom,' 'You have the most beautiful eyes.'"
Girl: "Ah"
Guy: "You have the most beautiful eyes in New York City"
Can you spot the error were the gentleman left himself open to the possibility of the girl thinking he was a tad bit insincere?
2. DO NOT SEND TEXT MESSAGES LIKE THIS AFTER THE SECOND DATE, OR ACTUALLY ANY TIME, EVER:
Can you spot the text message that should not have been written?
Guy: "Want to come over after work?"
Girl's response:
["No thank you, I have work until late and we're busy"]
Guy: "I am listening to John Mayer and his voice is so pretty I think I might turn gay. Help me."
Girl's response: [Well, I do not want to be John Mayer's competition, he has such beautiful eyes"]
It is not often that one can come off as both gay and a sexual predator, but it can be done.
ADVICE #1, DO NOT GIVE COMPLIMENTS IN THIS WAY
1. Give the following conversation snippit a cursory perusal and see if you can spot the error on the guy's part:
Guy:"I went to South America"
Girl:"Do you speak any Spanish?"
Guy: "I learned a few phrases, 'where is the bathroom,' 'You have the most beautiful eyes.'"
Girl: "Ah"
Guy: "You have the most beautiful eyes in New York City"
Can you spot the error were the gentleman left himself open to the possibility of the girl thinking he was a tad bit insincere?
2. DO NOT SEND TEXT MESSAGES LIKE THIS AFTER THE SECOND DATE, OR ACTUALLY ANY TIME, EVER:
Can you spot the text message that should not have been written?
Guy: "Want to come over after work?"
Girl's response:
["No thank you, I have work until late and we're busy"]
Guy: "I am listening to John Mayer and his voice is so pretty I think I might turn gay. Help me."
Girl's response: [Well, I do not want to be John Mayer's competition, he has such beautiful eyes"]
It is not often that one can come off as both gay and a sexual predator, but it can be done.
never pee
I was on a date.
(Get excitied, some of my best stories begin very similarly.)
I have a new dating tip for you.
Do not pee.
Just don't do it.
I was sitting on a couch with this guy. I said (Now this is where it starts to go downhill:
"May I use your restroom?"
Polite, right? Grammatically correct, you say?
Well.
(Now here is where I make my mistake.)
I peed.
Wait, I left some parts out.
I got up off the couch, I went out of the room to the bathroom, I peed.
I came back. He was lying down on the couch.
I looked at him and he said: "I lay down."
And I said: "Thank you, Capt. Really Bloody Obvious"
No I didn't. Not really. I said, "I see"
(We both have very good lines in this story)
Anyway, that is my story and its moral is, do not pee. Things can change rapidly for the worse.
(Get excitied, some of my best stories begin very similarly.)
I have a new dating tip for you.
Do not pee.
Just don't do it.
I was sitting on a couch with this guy. I said (Now this is where it starts to go downhill:
"May I use your restroom?"
Polite, right? Grammatically correct, you say?
Well.
(Now here is where I make my mistake.)
I peed.
Wait, I left some parts out.
I got up off the couch, I went out of the room to the bathroom, I peed.
I came back. He was lying down on the couch.
I looked at him and he said: "I lay down."
And I said: "Thank you, Capt. Really Bloody Obvious"
No I didn't. Not really. I said, "I see"
(We both have very good lines in this story)
Anyway, that is my story and its moral is, do not pee. Things can change rapidly for the worse.
No really, its true
I was out on a date and my date abruptly asked me what I was looking for in a man. I tried to talk my way out of answering this question, but my jedi mind powers did not work on this one.
So I said I was looking for someone to be comfortable with, someone I could trust and he interrupted me to say that my answer was boring and this was what everyone said. Maybe so. So I started to think about what we would say if we all answered that question honestly.
Date: "What are you looking for in a partner?"
Date-ee: The obligatory "Someone who I can be comfortable with, someone I can trust"
Various Translations of what this could really mean:
"Someone who will tell me what to do"
"Someone who I can tell what to do"
"Sex"
"Sex, actually"
"Love"
"Money"
"Someone who will love me/intensely want to suck my blood until I die a painful death"
"Children"
"Someone to show me around the city"
"Someone to fix all the problems"
"The answer to the meaning of life"
"A Jane Austen romance"
"A family"
"My father"
"Someone who will treat me badly"
"Drama"
"A fictional character out of a novel/romantic comedy"
"Anyone, because the person I really want is taken"
"Someone to make me feel attractive"
"Someone who has all my interests"
"Someone who will take care of me, because I am a total disaster"
"A total disaster so I can take care of them"
"Anyone, so that I do not have to feel bad about being alone"
"Well, everyone else has one..."
"Someone to party with"
"Give me your money"
And me: "someone who I can be myself with, someone who I can trust"
translation:
"Someone who I can be myself with, someone who I can trust"
So I said I was looking for someone to be comfortable with, someone I could trust and he interrupted me to say that my answer was boring and this was what everyone said. Maybe so. So I started to think about what we would say if we all answered that question honestly.
Date: "What are you looking for in a partner?"
Date-ee: The obligatory "Someone who I can be comfortable with, someone I can trust"
Various Translations of what this could really mean:
"Someone who will tell me what to do"
"Someone who I can tell what to do"
"Sex"
"Sex, actually"
"Love"
"Money"
"Someone who will love me/intensely want to suck my blood until I die a painful death"
"Children"
"Someone to show me around the city"
"Someone to fix all the problems"
"The answer to the meaning of life"
"A Jane Austen romance"
"A family"
"My father"
"Someone who will treat me badly"
"Drama"
"A fictional character out of a novel/romantic comedy"
"Anyone, because the person I really want is taken"
"Someone to make me feel attractive"
"Someone who has all my interests"
"Someone who will take care of me, because I am a total disaster"
"A total disaster so I can take care of them"
"Anyone, so that I do not have to feel bad about being alone"
"Well, everyone else has one..."
"Someone to party with"
"Give me your money"
And me: "someone who I can be myself with, someone who I can trust"
translation:
"Someone who I can be myself with, someone who I can trust"
Sunday, January 17, 2010
karma save me now
When I was a child I used to save the spiders and dragon flies by pulling them out of webs before the spider got them.
Lets hope some of that karma comes to help me as I play that classic game I play with men, which involves me running away, a lot
Lets hope some of that karma comes to help me as I play that classic game I play with men, which involves me running away, a lot
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