I'm a loser!

I just looked at my inbox.

It is flooded with emails from men and administrators from speed-dating, match, chemistry, and eharmony.

I look DESPERATE.

I have become a serial dater.

Maybe I will try not dating anyone. This is my roommate's advice to me.

Basically she told me to try reverse psychology.......................................on the universe.

So if you're listening to me universe, and I know you're out there, I don't want a boy anymore. I also do not want a dance job, a yoga career, enough money to pay my rent, and I really, really, really don't want a lemon meringue pie, right now.

*Peers up at the sky, is it working?*

speed dating

Since I have yet to decide which side of the her/his gravestone I want to be buried on, I went speed dating instead.

So surreal. I went with a friend of mine and her two friends. So 4/12 of us were together. I was one station away from my friend and when it came up, I told them we were together. The girls told me afterward that I had broken the first rule of speed dating, do not talk about speed dating.

In passing, the first guy I spent 7 minutes with was a Greek from Athens. If I was superstitious, I would say that as a bad sign. Anyways, he joined the side of my detractors, there were less guys than girls and he ended up back at my station and rather than enduring another 7 minutes than me, he ran. No really, he sprinted and everyone looked at us. It. was. awesome.

Other than that, most of the guys were loony, but we have all had enough of making fun of loony guys, lets talk about the the nice guys. There were four out of fourteen guys that the four of us all agreed were the best by a lot. We all put them on our list. They all put us on theirs.

I am now supposed to go on dates with guys who I know are dating other girls, who I know. My friend even has the same name as me. The guy we both agreed was the best of the lot sent me an email and as I read it I thought to myself:
"I wonder if he just copied and pasted this to both of us. He wouldn't even have to change the name."
This does not work for me. I do not believe in astrology, but if I did, I would blame my jealous possessiveness on my scorpio sign.

The moral of the story is, do not go speed dating with one's friends. Go alone. And more importantly, never wear your favorite earrings. I lost one of mine, and few men are worth the loss of one's favorite earrings.

Ps, The guy I liked second best chose my friend and not me. Also, annoying. I have not come upon a situation fraught with more potential drama since my first Greek restaurant..

atonal

Right, so eharmony is not the way of the future. They had an extensive personality quiz. Which at first I thought was a good sign. They are dead serious about compatibility, unlike match.com:

"Match daily 5!
Emily! Meet Steve! He is also an oldest child! He enjoys a drink in a social setting! He also fancies felines! He breaths! He has the same amount of DNA, we hope! He smokes every day and has no picture and we realize that you set your profile settings not to be matched with either of these, but the similarities between you guys were so striking, we hoped your mutual love of cats would overcome these artificial boundaries you set for yourself..."

Haha only kidding! Match only gives you three criteria for matching, not five.

But then eharmony went on to get a bit terrifying and unnecessary with questions about how many children one wanted, one's blood type, and which side of the his/her gravestone one wanted to be buried on.

I stuck it through and filled out the whole thing to review my match for free, and waited two days to get matched with guys in places like Alabama, and Kentucky. What am I going to do? Fly to Kentucky to see of I like a guy I have never met before? Not going to work. Maybe speed dating is the way of the future, instead of websites. I wouldn't move to Kentucky for Johnny Depp....